Texting Before a Date: The Do’s and Don’ts for a Great First Impression

You matched, you’re interested, and now there’s a date on the calendar. But what happens between now and then can set the tone for how that first meeting plays out. Text too much, and you risk overdoing it before you even sit down together. Text too little, and you might seem uninterested.

So what’s the right balance? Here’s what you should and shouldn’t do when texting before a date.

What You SHOULD Do
Keep the energy light and positive
The goal is to build excitement, not pressure. A few playful or engaging messages before the date can create a sense of anticipation.

“Looking forward to our coffee date! Do you take your coffee straight-up or with all the fancy extras?”
“Excited to finally meet in person—let’s see if your sense of humor is as good as your profile says!”
A little back-and-forth helps the conversation feel natural before you meet.

Confirm the plans (without making it feel like a checklist)
A day before or the morning of, send a quick text to make sure you’re still on the same page.

“Still good for tomorrow at 7? Looking forward to it!”
This removes any uncertainty without making it feel like a business meeting.

Leave some things to talk about in person
Texting before a date should be about creating curiosity, not revealing everything ahead of time. You don’t need to deep-dive into personal stories before you even sit across from each other.

What You SHOULDN’T Do
Text too much or too often
Flooding them with texts before the date can make it feel like you’ve already had the date—without ever meeting. Let the real chemistry happen in person.

Send one-word replies or go silent
A total communication drop-off makes it seem like you lost interest. If you’re busy, just say something like:

“Super busy today, but can’t wait for tomorrow!”
Simple, effective, and keeps the momentum going.

Overthink the texting game
If you’re sitting there wondering, Should I wait two hours to text back? Am I texting too much?, take a deep breath. If you’re interested, be natural, be yourself, and let things flow.

Let the Conversation Feel Natural
Texting before a date isn’t about proving yourself—it’s about setting up a comfortable, engaging connection before meeting in person. A little effort goes a long way, but the real magic happens when you finally meet face to face.